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Sexual Reminisces New years resolution for relationships.

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Tips for you x

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Happiness in Marriage? — See, there’s this thing called biology…

The concept of happiness is getting a lot of attention in bloggerville right now, in several different contexts relating to politics,marriage, and faith. First let’s define it, “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may also reflect judgements by […]

via Happiness in Marriage? — See, there’s this thing called biology…

After Menopause: How Sex is Different

 

HEALTHY SEX

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As most menopausal women could probably tell you, “the change” is about much more than just what is going on physically. For many, it’s a time of significant life change – a time to decide between what was “good enough” before and what is absolutely necessary for the second half of life. And this goes for sex, too. While earlier in a woman’s life, sex may have been about attracting or pleasing a partner, without much focus on herself, her attitudes about sex may be very different after menopause.

Here are some of the things I hear from my menopausal clients about sex at midlife:

“It hurts.” Menopause means a reduction of hormones that keep the vagina supple and moist. This drop in hormones also means that the body isn’t prompting for sex like it used to. But a woman still needs to have regular sexual intercourse to help keep the vulva fit. Sex shouldn’t hurt and getting help early will prevent complications. Women should consult their gynecologist about their unique risks and benefits for hormone replacement that can ease. Desire is a complex function of what’s happening in the body, mind, and relationship, so physical therapists, sex therapists, and marriage counselors can also help. With a little support, couples can resolve painful sex and relational problems to have joyful intimacy for the rest of their lives.

“For me to want sex, my partner has to respect me outside the bedroom.” For most women, the quality of a committed relationship has to be good in order to feel sexual desire. Earlier bargains for a provider-protector or handsome-charming partner may not be relevant after the wear and tear of twenty or so years. Philosopher Koestenbaum says “Expect two marriages in every lifetime, sometimes to the same person.” Couples often have to do quite a bit of renegotiation to go forward at her menopause.

“After 50, interest is sexy.” Certainly someone who listens well, remembers what we’ve asked for, and tunes into nuance in a sexual moment makes an exciting lover. But curiosity about who we are at this age, even if they’ve known us half our lives, is also a powerful aphrodisiac. It’s a turn-on to be asked about our thoughts, opinions, history and passions. For instance, menopausal, divorced or widowed women report a resurgence of desire as their new partners find them sexy and fascinating.

“I want mine, too.” Fortunately, for many women orgasm is still a powerful experience at midlife. And beyond that, they may relish the pleasure of arousal even as a stand-alone – sensual pleasure like hair-brushing, stroking, holding hands, and lying together. More importantly, at midlife women are often unapologetic for insisting on that sexual satisfaction is mutual.

“I’m done worrying about what I look like.” Menopause gives women an opportunity to leave their inhibitions and self-criticism behind. A very young 70-year-old female client of mine said, “I’ve always loved sex; it’s where I feel the most at home.” Her partner was giddy about how beautiful she had been and still was. Any physical imperfection was overshadowed by her amazing joy in the experience.

Author Laurie Watson

Source: WebMD.com

Date: Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Important:

The opinions expressed in WebMD Second Opinion are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

 

Sexual Reminisces love. 1a

A healthy relationship thrives when you recognise each other’s differences and…

  • When both parties can express themselves.
  • When there is mutual appreciation.
  • When you are happy together.
  • When you and your partner support each other.
  • When you make sacrifices for each other.
  • When you and your partner have patience towards each other.
  • When there is mutual protection.
  • When you and your partner feel love for each other.
  • When you and your partner feel mutual admiration.
  • When you and your partner spend quality time together.
  • When you have effective communication with each other.
  • When both parties exercise person responsibility and tackle challenges.
  • When you and your partner demonstrate forgiveness towards each other.
  • When you and your partner are open with each other.
  • When you have mutual trust.
  • When you and your partner have fun.
  • When you and your partner can be yourself.

Regardless of gender please support a positive platform for discussion and dismiss toxic energies.

  • encourage your partner to have a voice and reap the rewards.
  • Make a stand, escape the revolving negative traps, recover and be free to focus on productive pursuits.

And keep the positive fire burning in your relationship.

Rare Diamond.

 

 

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A King…

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Tips for you. 5 Ways to Overcome Premature Ejaculation « Healthy Sex

HEALTHY SEX

5 Ways to Overcome Premature Ejaculation

By Laurie J. Watson, LMFT

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

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The first time James had sex, he climaxed immediately. His partner grimaced, which he interpreted as commentary about his “failure.” He was quick on the trigger from then on, believing he couldn’t please a woman. Finally, after James met someone special, he became desperate to solve this problem.

Premature ejaculation (usually reaching climax in one minute’s time) is the number one sexual dysfunction affecting 30% of men of all ages (18-59). PE’s biggest sexual consequence is shame – further exacerbating the problem. Fortunately, PE is typically the easiest male sexual problem to resolve. Here’s how:

  1. Remember, it’s not just about you. Lovemaking is pleasure, connection, and eroticism between two people. Sure, men may feel humiliated when they climax before they want to, but the real problem is that they withdraw in anger, disgust, or shame – away from the sexual moment, away from their partner. Mistakenly, she may think he’s angry at her, not at his own short fuse. The truth is, lots of woman could care less about his rapid ejaculation. If she’s in the majority, she doesn’t even climax with intercourse. She wants closeness, sexy time, and her own orgasm. Being left high and dry by his withdrawal from the bed is usually her real complaint. Try saying to her: “You’re so sexy, I just couldn’t help myself!” And stay in the game until she finishes too.
  2. Orgasm quickly. Go again. My favorite intervention for premature ejaculation is the take the brakes OFF. I get agreement from the couple for him to go for broke! Ejaculation is caused by two things – anxiety and erotic stimulation. When he is prescribedto climax quickly, there is no anxiety. His enjoyment of sex rapidly increases as he gains control and allows himself erotic thoughts. A second intercourse in one encounter usually ends with a slower climax.
  3. Stimulate the whole body. While traditionally it’s the woman who needs  a body rub to warm up to the sexual moment, a guy with PE could really use one. He learns to experience enjoyment in his whole body instead of just the excitement in his penis. Spreading the sensations decentralizes his obsession and anxiety about his performance, focusing him on pleasure.
  4. Sex therapy. Unless the PE issue is complicated by trauma, severe childhood upbringings, or marital distress, sex therapy can be successful within a fairly short time. Standard treatment uses guided steps of progressive sexual stimulation to stop well before he feels the inevitability of climax. If his partner is cooperative and enthusiastic, a good outcome is nearly guaranteed. Often, the biggest problem is that men wait too long to address the problem; the delay in getting help complicates their relationship and compromises their partner’s willingness to participate in treatment.
  5. Medical interventions. While I favor behavioral techniques, medical intervention can help in certain situations. Urologists may prescribe a low dose anti-depressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) type, which has the notorious and, in this case, useful side effect of slowing down orgasm. Also available by prescription are topical anesthetics in the form of sprays and cream that numb the sensation of the penile skin without diminishing feeling in his partner’s vagina.

Premature ejaculation is a difficult problem but the answer doesn’t have to be – it just requires a willingness to take action. Stop climaxing quickly by getting help quickly!

Source: http://blogs.webmd.com/healthy-sex/2016/07/5-ways-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation.html