Category Archives: Challenges

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Sexual Reminisces New years resolution for relationships.

16 People Share The Worst Relationship Advice They’ve Ever Been Given — Thought Catalog

@bjemas1. “Have a baby. It’ll save your relationship.” — Ellen, 23 2. “’If you love him, change everything about yourself for him.” — Rose, 26 3. “The worst advice I’ve gotten is to immediately jump into bed with a person I was interested in developing a long-term relationship with. I think more times than not,…

via 16 People Share The Worst Relationship Advice They’ve Ever Been Given — Thought Catalog

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Wednesday Motivation — It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

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After Menopause: How Sex is Different

 

HEALTHY SEX

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As most menopausal women could probably tell you, “the change” is about much more than just what is going on physically. For many, it’s a time of significant life change – a time to decide between what was “good enough” before and what is absolutely necessary for the second half of life. And this goes for sex, too. While earlier in a woman’s life, sex may have been about attracting or pleasing a partner, without much focus on herself, her attitudes about sex may be very different after menopause.

Here are some of the things I hear from my menopausal clients about sex at midlife:

“It hurts.” Menopause means a reduction of hormones that keep the vagina supple and moist. This drop in hormones also means that the body isn’t prompting for sex like it used to. But a woman still needs to have regular sexual intercourse to help keep the vulva fit. Sex shouldn’t hurt and getting help early will prevent complications. Women should consult their gynecologist about their unique risks and benefits for hormone replacement that can ease. Desire is a complex function of what’s happening in the body, mind, and relationship, so physical therapists, sex therapists, and marriage counselors can also help. With a little support, couples can resolve painful sex and relational problems to have joyful intimacy for the rest of their lives.

“For me to want sex, my partner has to respect me outside the bedroom.” For most women, the quality of a committed relationship has to be good in order to feel sexual desire. Earlier bargains for a provider-protector or handsome-charming partner may not be relevant after the wear and tear of twenty or so years. Philosopher Koestenbaum says “Expect two marriages in every lifetime, sometimes to the same person.” Couples often have to do quite a bit of renegotiation to go forward at her menopause.

“After 50, interest is sexy.” Certainly someone who listens well, remembers what we’ve asked for, and tunes into nuance in a sexual moment makes an exciting lover. But curiosity about who we are at this age, even if they’ve known us half our lives, is also a powerful aphrodisiac. It’s a turn-on to be asked about our thoughts, opinions, history and passions. For instance, menopausal, divorced or widowed women report a resurgence of desire as their new partners find them sexy and fascinating.

“I want mine, too.” Fortunately, for many women orgasm is still a powerful experience at midlife. And beyond that, they may relish the pleasure of arousal even as a stand-alone – sensual pleasure like hair-brushing, stroking, holding hands, and lying together. More importantly, at midlife women are often unapologetic for insisting on that sexual satisfaction is mutual.

“I’m done worrying about what I look like.” Menopause gives women an opportunity to leave their inhibitions and self-criticism behind. A very young 70-year-old female client of mine said, “I’ve always loved sex; it’s where I feel the most at home.” Her partner was giddy about how beautiful she had been and still was. Any physical imperfection was overshadowed by her amazing joy in the experience.

Author Laurie Watson

Source: WebMD.com

Date: Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Important:

The opinions expressed in WebMD Second Opinion are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

 

Sexual Reminisces love. 1a

A healthy relationship thrives when you recognise each other’s differences and…

  • When both parties can express themselves.
  • When there is mutual appreciation.
  • When you are happy together.
  • When you and your partner support each other.
  • When you make sacrifices for each other.
  • When you and your partner have patience towards each other.
  • When there is mutual protection.
  • When you and your partner feel love for each other.
  • When you and your partner feel mutual admiration.
  • When you and your partner spend quality time together.
  • When you have effective communication with each other.
  • When both parties exercise person responsibility and tackle challenges.
  • When you and your partner demonstrate forgiveness towards each other.
  • When you and your partner are open with each other.
  • When you have mutual trust.
  • When you and your partner have fun.
  • When you and your partner can be yourself.

Regardless of gender please support a positive platform for discussion and dismiss toxic energies.

  • encourage your partner to have a voice and reap the rewards.
  • Make a stand, escape the revolving negative traps, recover and be free to focus on productive pursuits.

And keep the positive fire burning in your relationship.

Rare Diamond.

 

 

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Life!

KTFB post 26.08.16.

Tips for you. 5 Ways to Overcome Premature Ejaculation « Healthy Sex

HEALTHY SEX

5 Ways to Overcome Premature Ejaculation

By Laurie J. Watson, LMFT

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

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The first time James had sex, he climaxed immediately. His partner grimaced, which he interpreted as commentary about his “failure.” He was quick on the trigger from then on, believing he couldn’t please a woman. Finally, after James met someone special, he became desperate to solve this problem.

Premature ejaculation (usually reaching climax in one minute’s time) is the number one sexual dysfunction affecting 30% of men of all ages (18-59). PE’s biggest sexual consequence is shame – further exacerbating the problem. Fortunately, PE is typically the easiest male sexual problem to resolve. Here’s how:

  1. Remember, it’s not just about you. Lovemaking is pleasure, connection, and eroticism between two people. Sure, men may feel humiliated when they climax before they want to, but the real problem is that they withdraw in anger, disgust, or shame – away from the sexual moment, away from their partner. Mistakenly, she may think he’s angry at her, not at his own short fuse. The truth is, lots of woman could care less about his rapid ejaculation. If she’s in the majority, she doesn’t even climax with intercourse. She wants closeness, sexy time, and her own orgasm. Being left high and dry by his withdrawal from the bed is usually her real complaint. Try saying to her: “You’re so sexy, I just couldn’t help myself!” And stay in the game until she finishes too.
  2. Orgasm quickly. Go again. My favorite intervention for premature ejaculation is the take the brakes OFF. I get agreement from the couple for him to go for broke! Ejaculation is caused by two things – anxiety and erotic stimulation. When he is prescribedto climax quickly, there is no anxiety. His enjoyment of sex rapidly increases as he gains control and allows himself erotic thoughts. A second intercourse in one encounter usually ends with a slower climax.
  3. Stimulate the whole body. While traditionally it’s the woman who needs  a body rub to warm up to the sexual moment, a guy with PE could really use one. He learns to experience enjoyment in his whole body instead of just the excitement in his penis. Spreading the sensations decentralizes his obsession and anxiety about his performance, focusing him on pleasure.
  4. Sex therapy. Unless the PE issue is complicated by trauma, severe childhood upbringings, or marital distress, sex therapy can be successful within a fairly short time. Standard treatment uses guided steps of progressive sexual stimulation to stop well before he feels the inevitability of climax. If his partner is cooperative and enthusiastic, a good outcome is nearly guaranteed. Often, the biggest problem is that men wait too long to address the problem; the delay in getting help complicates their relationship and compromises their partner’s willingness to participate in treatment.
  5. Medical interventions. While I favor behavioral techniques, medical intervention can help in certain situations. Urologists may prescribe a low dose anti-depressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) type, which has the notorious and, in this case, useful side effect of slowing down orgasm. Also available by prescription are topical anesthetics in the form of sprays and cream that numb the sensation of the penile skin without diminishing feeling in his partner’s vagina.

Premature ejaculation is a difficult problem but the answer doesn’t have to be – it just requires a willingness to take action. Stop climaxing quickly by getting help quickly!

Source: http://blogs.webmd.com/healthy-sex/2016/07/5-ways-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation.html

 

 

Size Isn’t Everything: 8 Ways to Please Her

man and woman in bed

HEALTHY SEX

Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Size Isn’t Everything: 8 Ways to Please Her
By Laurie J. Watson, LMFT

In sixteen years specializing in sex therapy, I’ve had only three women out of thousands, complain that their guy’s penis was too small. But I’ve had about a hundred guys worry aloud about their size. If you, like these men, are worried that your length and girth don’t fulfill your partner’s needs, here are a few things you can do:

1. Be a good lover. Focus on her body – not your anxiety. Your attentiveness to her pleasure can make you the greatest lover ever. Learn how to arouse her with time, flirtation, and seduction. Her mind is her most powerful sex organ and will respond to your desire and sexual intensity.

2. Keep your belly flat. You may not have stupendous genital anatomy, but women report getting more turned on by looking at his abs than by looking at his genitals. Also, a big belly makes your penis look smaller because your abdomen appears to absorb penile length.

3. Don’t believe porn. Despite what porn suggests, women don’t actually want huge penises and unending intercourse. Really. Really! Scads of my female patients report problems with too large of a penis.

4. Develop great manual technique. Know what you’re doing. Watch her vulva as you arouse her so that you can really understand her specific anatomy. Women report mind-blowing orgasms with concurrent G-spot and clitoral stimulation – nearly only achievable with fingers.

5. Get good at oral sex. Most women can’t climax through penetration, so she’ll appreciate a masterful focus on her clitoris. Oral sex is as powerful for women as it is for men, so developing this skill is a big win.

6. Be open to toys and dildos. If she loves climaxing with a full vagina but can’t feel enough of you, be creative in fulfilling her fantasies. It’s the spirit of play and love that make sex great. Then, after she climaxes, it’s your turn to just let loose with intercourse.

7. Insert a finger along with your penis. Girth is more important than length because vaginal feeling is most intense for about the first 2 inches. She’ll appreciate the extra stretch.

8. Try a textured condom. Some condoms are designed to add texture, thickness, and length.

No body is perfect, and no body stays perfect. But with a little work, sex can feel fantastic for almost any two-body combination.

Souce: http://blogs.webmd.com/healthy-sex/2016/07/size-isnt-everything-8-ways-to-please-her.html?ecd=wnl_sxr_081116&ctr=wnl-sxr-081116_nsl-promo-v_2&mb=6%2fcjf0QxQ3e%40AHIpZMdWGRXFE73IOX1cwaU62rnyZkQ%3d

 

 

Spread Love and kindness challenge — Success Inspirer’s World

Spread love; Spread kind words; Appreciate others; Compliment others; Tell people you love them. This challenge is to spread love and kindness around the world through Love-and-kindness posts. The world yearns for love and kindness. People are not appreciated and complimented enough. Everywhere people starve of love. Even spouses do not feel loved enough by […]

via Spread Love and kindness challenge — Success Inspirer’s World

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Take time out to study your facts.

KTFB research

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It’s your call!

KTFB Love & Hate

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Ask questions!

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Love and relationships.

Rare D Post 22.06.16. b

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The Goal!

Rare D Post. 21.07.16

Another tip to add some spice into your life

strapless bra

I came across an article which prompted me to reflect on a case that was relayed to me as a relationships advisor. Let me share a summary of their account, please note the names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals.

Case 1. Keeping the passion alive

Darren complained that his wife Sarah seemed to have lost interest in her appearance. He declared, ‘I really love my wife and I know we can’t run around naked as before, but when our children go to bed it should be our time, yet it’s not the case! Sarah makes no effort; she might as well be a sack of potatoes. She sits on the sofa in front of the TV wearing those awful tent tops and grandma knickers, eating biscuits and she refuses to be interrupted. Her behaviour is a turn off and it knocks my self confidence, because clearly she has not desire to impress me, I felt unappreciated so I started going out with the lads.’

Sarah on the other hand, remained in oblivion to the red flags. She couldn’t see that her husband was feeling neglected. In fact Sarah was bewildered when Darren told her that he had booked an appointment with ‘Through knowledge gain power Ltd’ to attend a relationship mediation sessions with me.

By the end of the first session Sarah agreed to follow my, ‘Me time plan’ which incorporates making a daily effort with your attire. Within a few months and just a few adjustments in the underwear department Sarah and Darren managed to converse, spend quality time together and rekindle regular intimacy. Eight years later, yes occasionally they do have up and downs as expected but they are still going strong.

I must clarify that as in most cases the couple in question had additional underlying issues that required attention hence I’m not implying that a simply change of attire can fix all challenges within a relationship but men love spontaneity particularly when it involves a treat for them. Sexy underwear, perfume or aftershave can also be useful gift offerings to demonstrate consideration and add excitement to the relationship if the recipient is appreciative.

 

Pursue stability to secure stability!

Fb relationships qoute 9

 

 

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Feelings

xrem advice. 4

Monday Motivation — It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

What a sad day yesterday. I don’t have any words for how sad I feel regarding the Orlando shooting. Devastating is the only thing I can think of. On top of that, a friend of a friend is missing and it’s feared she is a risk to attempt suicide. She has been missing for 24 hours […]

via Monday Motivation — It’s Ok Not To Be Ok

The Sexual Reminisces Book

A unique relationship advice book incorporating true life stories with a poetic twist.

Keep the fire burning!

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Sexual Reminisces is a compilation of real life stories based on sexual experiences that welcomes you to an arousing sensual escapade. It contains three volumes of 100 steamy poems in relation to sexual performance and seasoned it is with relationship advice. Rare Diamond documents sexual experiences of real people and translates them into poetic narratives. She weaves her own experience with that of her friends and associates to articulate powerful sensuous accounts. Designed for those in a relationship to inject passion, accentuate sexual heights, to celebrate or relationship advice. Singletons can read it too – It’s a very entertaining read! 

To purchase the book visit www.sexualreminisces.com