If you were in this predicament with your partner what would you do?
I have one or two suggestions that I have prepared for you (because I’ve been there too.)
To begin with, bullet point all the challenges that cause you deep anxiety or stress,
Then prioritize only the top three, no more no less,
At a later date you can repeat this method to target the rest.
Once you have established your list, begin with your first concern,
Record all related possible consequences and the pitfalls that you’ve learned.
For example does this challenge affect your safety and or self-esteem?
Is it dishonest activity, financially crippling or does it create a humiliating scene?
Next, record the positive qualities in your relationship that you contribute and would like to embrace,
Then combine your list of positive qualities with your first challenge list, and see where you are placed.
This will help give you clarity to establish where your relationship sits-
And in some cases provide you with a well needed reality check to tackle toxic blips.
In addition consider your goals, positive points and ambitions that you wish to pursue,
Because it is equally essential to recognise the things that are important and liked by you.
At this point the gravity of each challenge should be used to guide appropriate action-
But be warned, guilt trips and blame games may be used to urge your retraction.
Your challenges may only require personal discussions to negotiate a compatible compromise-
But if potential danger applies, this warrants a firm decision to break your ties.
For added support you may need to seek ‘marriage guidance’ or another advisory source-
Because without adjustments abusive partners seldom change or express remorse.
Bear in mind, concerning boundaries the message relayed to your partner, this is what you have taught,
So without action chances are, you’ll remain in a toxic relationship and emotionally distraught.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Zelda Gunzell 2012 (Alias Rare Diamond)