He was a people pleaser
Supporting others is a rewarding experience for many it is a wonderful feeling to be appreciated; in this instance making small sacrifices for a good cause is fine, as long as you prioritize your personal responsibilities.
However, some individuals become what I call people pleasers, in other words they assists others in a subconscious hope for recognition and self-esteem in return. These seemingly good intentions can spiral out of control and fuel a poor balance in terms of rational safeguarding restraints.
Consider my former clients, I will call them Mr and Mrs P. It was evident that Mr P became a people pleaser. Mr P was a kind and giving man but is he lacked self-confidence and was mistreated by work colleagues and friends. In an attempt to feel accepted and worthy Mr P often assisted others even though it was not practical or financially beneficial for him to do so. Mrs P frequently expressed that Mr P lacked compassion and shared little quality time with her. Mrs P was right, not because Mr P didn’t love her but because he habitually sacrificed his positive energies and therefore he had none left to offer her. Meanwhile Mr P’s so called friends and work colleagues continued to be ungrateful opportunists, ultimately this enhanced his lacking confidence. Heated discussing became the norm and the turbulence in the relationship became unbearable for Mrs P, she realised that her marriage was at breaking point and decided to seek relationship advice.
As you can see Mr P chose a none-productive problem solving technique to address his self-esteem challenges and he suffered the consequential abuse, disappointments and marital turbulence. Indeed it is important to appreciate and grow positive relationships with others but it is equally important to appreciate and grow a positive relationship with yourself.
I hope you enjoy the message I am sharing with you. (Taken from my ‘Relationships and Feelings’ manual)
Respect enhances self-confidence
Let me share a few food for thought important facts, Those who truly respect themselves cover their own back,
They have productive relationships and their positive driving force is on track.
They do not allow their emotions to be controlled by things that other people say or do,
Why? Because their time is limited, they have plenty profitable goals to pursue.
Most observers admire their attitude towards people and how they live their life,
If you are a close associate you will benefit from their glowing motivational light.
So if in life you wish to be happy and envision yourself as a success,
Ensure that the relationship you have with yourself is truly God blessed.
What tools can you use to preserve a positive relationship with yourself?
I have a few suggestions under my belt,
Here are three basic tools: good hygiene, mental stability and physical health.
Ok let’s team up and break down these factors: basic tool number one,
Maintain daily hygiene and check that your chores are done,
Remember subjection to smells and dirt brings no fun.
The value of your character is basic tool number two,
Assess this by establishing if positive people behave in the same manner as you-
If not take notes, mimic their methods and pay attention to what they say and do.
Basic tool number three: eat well, sleep well, balance exercise and rest,
Meditate, pamper yourself and allow your mind to de-stress,
If you do these things your state of mind is more likely to pass forthcoming tests.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved ~ Zelda Gunzell 2012 (Alias Rare Diamond)
(P.S Mr P is no longer a people pleaser, he is happily building a solid relationship with his wife.)